This morning, I was browsing for some new recipes, and found my own blog, when I was searching! Its been a year now, since I blogged! Not that I did not want to blog or connect with my readers, but life went upside down this year and still not able to cope up with the things that happened! My blog says "Welcome to my place, Ammana Adige and Bengaluru Samachara"! Those who cannot understand the language, it means "Welcome to my place, mom's cooking and Bengaluru(city) news"!
This blog mainly has my mom's recipes and this blog is dedicated to my mom, who taught me cooking and who was a amazing cook herself! I wrote "who was...."! Yes, she passed away 6 months ago, leaving me shattered, heart broken and sad! I just cannot believe myself that, I wrote she passed away! Did she really go? I could not come to terms with this question and I wonder each day, did she really go!?
Six months, is a long time for me! I used to call her every single day, from past 6 years, it was part of my day and day would not have completed without talking to her. And 6 months, I haven't spoken to her, nor heard her voice and it's total blank, void, silence and loneliness, grief, sadness filled in!
There is not a single moment in a day has passed without thinking of her....! I am eating/sleeping/talking/watching TV/doing all my chores and days are passing by and I really wonder and feel weird and strange that, I am doing all these without her! I wonder myself sometimes, how I am doing all these without her! She was not living with me, she was some 8,351 miles far away from me! But never felt that way, never felt she was far away! We used to talk every day and my Dad had gifted her Ipad for her birthday couple of years ago and she used to chat with me, send message to me everyday and that was the first thing in the morning I would read, her message!
Everyday from past 6 months, I keep looking at the messages in the morning, to see, if she ever write to me! Really she is gone! Now also I call every day thinking that, she might pick up the phone....! She used to wait for my call everyday...and today my Dad waits for my call....! These little moments, matters so much in life, you won't realize until you loose them! I just feel scared and want to hold on to time, not to move forward, since I feel she is going far far away from me! Well, she has really gone away!
Now every single day, I do keep remembering the olden days, the golden days of my childhood, where Amma was a multi talented, multi tasking, awesome, loving, caring mother, wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, cousin and many more.....! She had a very awesome voice and always used to sing and hum songs! She used to write short stories and poems, that was her passion! Writing and singing was her passion, but she never developed nor gave importance to her talent! She was a really an amazing cook, she used to learn and try out new recipes and inspire others to do so. She learnt baking(in those times it was a big thing to buy oven and do baking at home), used to do concentrated juices of all seasonal fruits, fill into some 20 juice bottles and share it with her sisters!
She was a role model, mentor and mother to her sisters and brothers! The day she passed away, all her sisters and brothers, paid tribute by singing the Bhajans(Devotional songs), which my mom had taught them and that was everyday routine, that all 6 sisters and 4 brothers have to be in the family room, at 6 in the evening, to sing those bhajans with her, when they were young!
There were always guests at home and she was an awesome host! I never remember her saying "I am tired today"! She used to wake up at 4.30 in the morning every day and her day used to end at 10.30 in the night! She was religious and followed all the customs and traditions and every festival...now I can say, was done like a wedding! I meant, with so much traditions, very colorful, dedication, grand and auspicious! That's the reason, now when I look back, I feel it was like a wedding! So much of preparations, she used to do, effortlessly, she had so much passion, dedication, in what ever she did!
She was a strict mom, but never tried to control us! She always used to have open discussions and listen to us and very generous. I really really wonder, how and where so much of energy, passion, dedication she had in all the things....! That's incredible!
She learnt Piano at the age of 75!! And she was on a advance level and the "Teacher", was amazed and used to give example of my mom to others when it comes to learning, discipline and dedication! Playing Piano became like a second nature to her!
That smile on her face, the abundance of kindness and forgiving nature she had, I guess it's hard to find! The same Amma(mom)......from past one year, suffered with pain and gone through a lot, but still never gave up mentally, she was strong! Before she left to the hospital, two days before, she passed away, she folded her night dress and her towel, put it in the right place and said "Bye" to my Dad and everybody and left....!
Every body from my Dad's side, my mom's side, came when she passed away and me and brother were over whelmed by hearing and seeing, the response of all, how much everybody loved, respected, cared my mom! That's how great, influential she was, well she is!!!!
One of my cousins rightly said, when all the sisters and brothers were singing, to pay her tribute that, "Can you imagine, she meant, valued, influenced so much in all their lives that today they are all singing for her"!!!!
So this post is a tribute to my Amma, who was and is everything to me, in every way. I bow her with respect, love, gratitude and affection! I miss Amma! The recipe I am sharing now, is Amma's and today I had made and thought of sharing with you all! I keep writing, sharing, connecting with you all dear blog readers and thanks for reading my post! Happy New Year filled with tons of happiness and good health to all of you!
Ash gourd - 1/2, peel the skin and cut into cubes
Green chillies - according to taste
Cumin - 1/2 tea spoon
Channa dal - 4 table spoons
Coconut - 1/4 cup
Yogurt - 3 table spoons
Turmeric - 1/2 tea spoon
Mustard seeds - 1/2 tea spoon
Oil - 1/2 tea spoon
Salt to taste
Soak Channa dal, in water for about an hour or two. Grind soaked channa dal, cumin, green chillies, coconut, turmeric to a fine paste. Cook, cut ash gourd pieces in water, until soft, add little salt and then add the grounded paste, and more salt to adjust to taste and water to desired consistency. Since its Channa dal, it becomes thick, so you can add water, to a desired consistency. While its boiling, in a small pan, add oil and mustard seeds and when it crackles, add to the majjige hulli and turn it off. After turning off the heat, add yogurt and mix well. Serve with hot rice and happla and sandige(Papad) and enjoy!